Thursday, February 24, 2011

Signs that you know winter has gone on too damed long.

  • Sleeping in a snow hat is now part of your nighttime wardrobe.
  • When you witness the ever-so-small patch of green beneath the snow you think its mold.
  • You tell the kids they don’t really need their jackets because it’s over 40 degrees outside.
  • Hauling wood from the wood pile has become a daily chore for your children.
  • Chopping wood will now be a daily spring, summer, and fall chore for your children.
  • You consider selling your lawnmower on eBay because you don’t think you’ll need it anymore.
  • The thought of stew, soup, and anything from a crock pot makes your family want to hurl.
  • No one wants to drink hot chocolate anymore. Even with extra marshmallows.
  • When you see more snow in the forecast, you get emotional and angry.
  • You can’t remember ever having experienced a time when you weren’t cold.
  • You start googling recipes where the main ingredient is snow.
  • You begin to cut down greet trees in your backyard because you’ve already used the seasoned firewood. And it’s only February.
  • Somehow you ended up homeschooling the kids because they don’t seem to be in public school that often anymore.
  • But unfortunately, though you are homeschooling your children, they will in fact be legally obliged to keep attending school past July 4th to make up for days when they were being homeschooled.
  • You consider knocking off that huge icicle hanging from the ice dam in your gutter and stabbing Mother Nature with it.
  • You ran out of heating oil twice in one month.
  • You begin any sentence about the weather, ice, or snow with the “F” word.
  • You send away for “Make your Own Mukluk” kits.
  • You decide that being pen pals with a family living on the Arctic tundra might be a good idea.
  • You have a layer of permafrost in your living room; mostly from the soot and grit from the bottom of everyone’s snow boots. And the fact that you are out of heating oil. Again. 
  • You’ve lost four snow shovels this season and there is a good chance that each one is buried in a different layer of ice and snow within five feet of your front door.
  • You start rationalizing the weight you’ve put on by claiming you’re working on your insulation.
  • You got the idea to insulate yourself with body fat by watching March of the Penguins.
  • You have the girls at your daughter's sleep over fill sandbags as an activity--in preparation for the flooding you anticipate if the snow ever melts come spring.
  • You actually make a list of signs when you know that winter has gone on too damned long.
Can you think of anything else? Please add to my list! 


Beth said...

your kids yell in anger instead of cheer with glee when the news station scrolls..."_______ Public Schools: Cancelled"

Fairly Odd Mother said...

Oh, I hear you on this!

I'll also add: When you wait for the lawsuit to come from the person who breaks their leg on the skating rink of your front steps. I'm thinking of investing in an ice pick to get through the inches of ice that built up every time we have a thaw followed by plunging temps.

Oh, one more: when the sound of a February thunderstorm makes you weepy for the sound of a July thunderstorm.

Kristy said...

THANK YOU! I laughed so hard at your list!! I'm from northeastern WA state, so live in a lot of snow each winter. We heat with wood all the time, and homeschool all the time, so hearing your take on those things was really comical! I also loved the one about losing the snow shovels! You'll be amazed what was left in your yard once it all melts!! Thanks so much for the great laugh! Kristy

Martha Sue said...

This is hilarious! I seriously just about spit out my coffee when I read the one about wanting to hurl over another crock pot meal. I'm from NC and even we had a lot more snow than usual this year. Thank you for tickling my funny bone.

Ariannah said...

Hilarious! We live in Missouri and were snowed in for 4 days. Your post makes me look back at those days with a whole different funny perspective. Thanks!

Rachel said...

Ladies, what great ones to add to the list! Thanks so much for stopping by ECM! How about this one:
-You use all that time spent in the house to write a letter to Victoria's Secret asking them if they would please consider designing some bras and panties that are made of polar fleece.
I would seriously buy undergarments made of polar fleece. I cannot wear it enough!

eastwitching said...

Thank you for those fabulous pictures of the snow. And, yes, delightful as they are at first - plunging us into a winterwonderland- they are too much when last for too long. I love the New England landscapes. Alison