Friday, May 21, 2010

My Head or Theirs: Somebody's is About Ready to Roll

We all know how difficult it is to live with other people. If you are a mother, or are married, you understand that there is only so much you can do to pick up, clean, and establish organizational protocol when the people you live with refuse to acknowledge the systems that are set in place. And since being a family member is not an elected, appointed, or salaried position, there is not much recourse available to us in curbing other's behavior. There are days I'd really like to doc my kid's paycheck, but they don't get one. Not even an allowance. Plenty of hours in my lifetime have been devoted to asking my husband (yet again) to please do, well... whatever it is at the time that is bugging me. Nagging is not working with any of them. Yelling is even less effective. So I figured I'd vent publicly a little; hoping that some of you out there will reach a hand out to me, commiserate about our pet peeves, and help me by sharing about the things in your own home that remain unchanged, because no one bothers to listen to you.

So, hop on the tram with me today ladies and gentlemen. Keep all arms and legs inside the moving vehicle at all times. Fasten your helmet, and let's go.

Stop #1: The Toilet Paper Roll
As we slow to a halt, please look over to the left of the picture, noticing the brand new roll of toilet paper ladies and gentlemen. Now look over towards your right where you can see the empty roll of toilet paper visibly displayed on the tile wall.  The new location for our family's butt tissue is now on the back of the toilet, on the floor near the toilet, or on the sink beside the toilet, but never, ever on the toilet paper roll holder where it belongs. In fact, the empty cardboard tube has been there for approximately three weeks. We have gone through 5 rolls of toilet paper since this last one ran out, and no one seems capable of squishing in the spring action rod to remove the old one. I'm thinking of hot gluing on some gems and sequins and simply calling it a bathroom decoration. Or perhaps I could hang a small hand towel there. But that too would probably end up on the floor. 

Stop #2: The Laundry With a Mind of it's Own
My husband may be upset with me for this stop folks, but as he doesn't read my blog too frequently, if you don't tell him, I won't either. Please observe the big-ass yellow laundry hamper rising stately above the laundry on the floor. I'll admit my husband did not play basketball as a youth, but he did play baseball, leading me to believe he is capable of throwing something in a certain direction and having it land where he would desire. It is fact that we have had this laundry basket since we have been married and that it originally had a lid. In the first few years of our marriage his dirty clothes would find themselves piled on top of the laundry basket, but never actually inside it. To make things easier for my husband (because I am incredibly accommodating), I removed the lid which now lives with the dust and lint balls on the closet floor. Regardless of my efforts, his clothes seem to end up on the floor next to the laundry, but again, never inside the laundry hamper, leading me to believe that the laundry is crawling out of it on it's own accord.

Stop #3: The Empty Food Boxes Left for Posterity
I'm pretty sure I know who the culprits are for this tricky act. Yes, the very same kids that eat these delicious, non-organic, full of sugar, snacks seem to have no problem telling me we are out of a particular food item, but do have a problem throwing the empty boxes away. I have one pantry. It is very small. Space matters. In fact, as a lesson I think I'm going to remove all the food from all the packages, so it just looks like we have things to eat. Then when they complain we are out of something, I'll simply reply, "No, I'm pretty sure I saw the box in the cupboard. Look again." 

Stop #4: The Lonely Amish Pegs
Look carefully ladies and gentlemen or you might miss this one. If you'll look at the top of the picture you'll notice a row of very nicely painted Amish peg wall hooks. You might be focusing on how cool that checkerboard stencil is, or how craftily the decorator made it look worn by sanding the edges and giving it a coat of stain. Do not be fooled! It too serves a purpose! If you look at the bottom of the photo, what do you find? Yes Yes!! Two jackets and a book bag in desperate need of some hooks! How ever will we solve this issue? Could it be, that the owner of this house, (the one with female anatomy) personally hung this set of hooks in this specific place, so as to combat her family's propensity to pile crap at the bottom of the stairs after they return home from school, on the weekends, and all days ending in 'y' ? Are you aware, tram riders, that this woman was also chided by her husband for hanging these hooks because clearly, "no one uses them"? Sigh. I've got it on good authority that after she hung these pegs, she gave the in-service to the family (and neighbor kids) who all (still) blatantly disregard the family operations manual. A manager can only take so much insubordination before someone gets the boot.

Stop #5: Toothpaste Nastiness

Tighten your seatbelts for this one folks. It's the best stop of the bunch. This lovely picture (exposure issues notwithstanding), is what the Lady of the household deals with every evening when she tries to keep her pearly whites, pearly white. I have tried every type of toothpaste top imaginable. Screw on lids stop screwing on about day two of tube use, the lid falls onto the floor repeatedly, and eventually is lost all together, allowing the toothpaste to crust it's way around the hole eventually clogging altogether. The flip top lids are no better (as evidenced above) and the most beautiful part of this pic is the little black hair that's stuck to the ice blue nastiness. I find myself wiping these tubes clean more often than I wipe my three year old, which is pretty often. I have also attempted to use the toothpaste with the lid that is also the base for standing, but you can imagine how that ends up. All I have to say, is that if you come visit, you need to bring your own. Either that or bring some floss, because there is hair in ours, and your going to need it.

I hope everyone enjoyed your trip through my world. If you live in similar circumstances, I'd love to hear about it. You can even post pics to the East Coast Musings Fan Page on Facebook if you're so inclined. I'd love to know I'm not the only family manager who has to deal with these kinds of people.


jennymc02375 said...

Wow - it's like we live in the same house! Empty TP rolls - I love it when my husband puts the new one on top of the empty one (My kids are too young to blame for this right now). He got that close, couldn't he just change it? And, yes, my husband and the laundry basket...why do his clothes never make it to the closet where the basket is? They always are on the foot of the bed or on the floor. I ask if they are dirty on laundry day and the response is always yes, so if he knows they are dirty, can't he put them where the dirty stuff goes?

Don't get me started on the coats and bags...we have two coat closets, but do you think there are any coats in them? No, they are laying over couches and coffee tables....

CLARA'S BLOG said...

OMG Rachel! When did you go to my house and take these pictures??? This is my house!!!! Everyone of the pictures! And I have also used every type of toothpaste container and none of them have worked! When you find the right one let me know!