Wednesday, May 12, 2010

There Once Was a Man From Nantucket....

It’s National Limerick Day, the day when people the world over stop, give thanks, and repeat all the dirty nasty limericks they know to their friends. I always thought that dirty limericks were an off-shoot of clean limericks; that this poem type existed as a form before it existed as a way to share crude humor. Turns out that isn’t the case.

There is some question as to where the term Limerick comes from, but it’s rumored to be named after a town in Ireland with the same name. Apparently people would go to the pub, swill a few pints of Guinness and, sing rude, crude, limericks until….. well, the cows came home I suppose.

Poetry On-line even goes so far as to suggest that this type of poem is easy to write, especially by drunkards, and doesn’t take a lot of skill to compose. I know I’m no poet but trying to come up with some original limericks to share with you that were witty, rhyming, and not completely innane proved to really challenge the synapses in my brain. I know occasionally I have posts on here that are a tad risqué and make my husband blanch (like last night after I read him my limericks, he asked, “You’re not going to post those on your blog, are you?”), but generally I try to stay away from sexual words that rhyme with sock, duck, blunt, kick, knit, and Nantucket. Try writing a witty, bawdy limerick without using those rhyming words and it proves quite a chore.

I could have written plenty of clean limericks, but I wanted to stay true to the folkloric integrity of the form. Who am I to change a style that’s been sung in the pubs of Ireland since the fifteenth century? So I composed a few original limericks to share with you today. Have a pint of Guinness, invite some friends over, and recapture a long lost tradition. I’m betting the limericks get funnier as the night goes on and the beer goes in. I suppose everything gets funnier that way.

A husband whose cruel wife would fake,
Ailments so love she wouldn’t have to make,
Wanted to feel like a man,
He smacked her head with a pan,
And said,“Now we BOTH have a headache.”

There once was a man whose libido,
Was so strong he was always in need-o,
His indifferent wife,
Laughed and simply replied,
“Have you seen yourself in a Speedo?”

There once was an ex-nursing mother,
Whose left boob was longer than the other,
When her husband complained,
She politely explained,
“It doesn’t seem to bother your brother.”

Now it’s your turn. Have a favorite limerick that makes you howl? Have you penned an original? Please share it! Even if it’s raunchy, rude, and crude. That’s the point after all. While I’d love for you to leave your name, if you don’t want to fess up to the limerick you can always sign in anonymous. Can’t wait to read some others!


Anonymous said...

There once was a lady named Alice,
Who used a stick of dynamite for a fallace,
They found her vagina
in South Carolina,
And parts of her anus near Dallas.

Rachel said...

Anoymous, thank you for sharing! That is hysterical!!

Anonymous said...

Boy, did this ever make me smile!! Thanks Rach.