Saturday, May 8, 2010

Which Kind of Mom Are You? Version I or II?

So. It’s tomorrow. The day women who have birthed children look forward to more than their anniversary. And Christmas. Maybe even their birthday. That day-once a year-when mom’s are supposed to be revered and cherished for laying down our lives on a daily basis for our children. We may seek little compensation on a day-to-day basis, but you can be sure we are keeping the receipts for services rendered and plan on cashing them in tomorrow. And boy am I looking forward to it.

There are two schools of thought on how moms like to celebrate this festive day, and I’m curious what category has the most members. Make sure you vote for what group you belong to before leaving the blog. I’d really like to see what kind of numbers we come up with.

Mother’s Day #1: Celebrate With the Kids and Family
This type of mom wants to celebrate Mother’s Day with her family. After all, where would she be without them? Aren’t her children what makes her a mother after all? And what kind of mother would want to spend the day that celebrates motherhood, alone? This kind of mom wants to do something fun with the whole family; go to a park, visit a museum, maybe see a movie. Going out to dinner or lunch is way more fun with the whole family than solo, and she might end up at the 99, but it doesn’t really matter, because the fruits of her loins are there in the booth with her and her husband is staring at her adoringly. What makes Mother’s Day special for this type of mom, isn’t that she gets to do what she wants, go where she wants, or eat what she wants, but that she can spend more quality time with her children doing whatever they want. She likes to open homemade presents from her kids and expensive gifts from her husband since she is so selfless and giving. But generally, as long as her family is happy she is happy.

Mother’s Day #2: A Day Without Children
This type of mom, while she loves her children, does not want to celebrate with her children. She does not want to celebrate being a mom at all, except for a small nod to the kids who allowed her to have this holiday. She wants to celebrate being a woman again, just a plain, single woman, who was able to do what she wanted, when she wanted without feeling guilty about it. This type of mom does not want purchased gifts. The only gifts she wants is for the children to not need her in any way or ask her any questions for 24 hours. The only gift she wants from her husband is to make sure that he keeps the children occupied, out of sight, and fed. That her children may not be happy at all during those 24 hours is not her concern because just for today she is not a mother, but a woman. What kind of mother wants to celebrate Mother’s Day by pretending she’s not a mother? You may ask. Well, plenty I’m thinking. Don’t get me wrong, this kind of mother loves her children deeply, but she loved them yesterday and she’ll love them tomorrow, but just for today, she wants to think about something besides loving them. Or making lunch for them. Or bathing them. She interprets Mother’s Day literally as Mother’s Day. An entire 24 hour period when she gets to have an entire day to herself. For her. To do as she damn well pleases and without any guilt. Doing something without guilt is usually the biggest gift you can give this kind of mother. A day where she can say “Because I want to” without ramifications.

Well, I know which category I fall into. But I’m curious. Where do you fall? Are you the type that doesn’t get to see her children very often or loves them so much you want to spend the day with them? Are you the type of mom who wants some space and quiet and time-off? I’d love to hear how you’d like to celebrate your day tomorrow. And don’t forget to vote in the sidebar. I’ll be reporting on my Mother’s Day come Monday. Not tomorrow of course. I’m off and I won’t be writing. Because I don’t want to.


Kristin FD Coble said...

I feel like I am somewhere in the middle on these two versions. Soon after becoming a mom, I figured out that my husband, while loving & appreciative, was not going to give me queen-for-a-day treatment on Mother's Day and that if I wanted gifts from my kids then I'd be making/buying them myself (well, they are both under 5, so what can I expect). So, last year I told my husband that the only thing I wanted for Mother's Day was not to have to cook or clean for the whole day. I didn't care how the food got to the table, but it would not be by my hand and any messes would have to wait for Monday. Though I still had two small kids to take care of, I stayed in my PJs all day and ate take-out, surrounded by the people I (mostly) like best in the world. It was my best Mother's Day so far!

Two Hands and a Roadmap said...

Great topic! I'm in the first type for sure, except that I don't much care what other people do.

I definitely like to get time/days to myself; in fact, my husband and boys are going out of town all next weekend without me, at my suggestion. But for me, Mother's Day is a day for me to celebrate with them.

I'm really interested in hearing other answers! to Davis & Paige said...

So I lean more toward Mom #2. I love my kids. I suffered through years of infertility to have my kids. I love my husband. I have been with him since I was 16. Brad and I spend almost every waking moment with the kids. We rarely get a night out alone. My children have slept over at their grandparents house once. They are 9 and almost 7. So I chose a day for me. Not to the ultimate selfish level...but just a day where I don't have to cook, clean, get a snack, plan an activity, shuttle them around, etc...
But I do like the homemade gifts and cards. And my life would be empty without them. Mother's day needs to be a 2 day affair: one day for the kids and one day for the moms.

Rachel said...

Kristen: as the kids get older and easier to care for, Mother's Day gets even better! Take-out in your pj's is definitely a great way to spend it though!
Two Hands: A whole week without your husband and sons? Wow, maybe I need to suggest that! Thanks so much for weighing in!
Shelly: I totally understand. I have suggested to my husband that we make Mothers/Fathers Day a weekend affair for that very reason! We don't do much vacationing or trips with the kids even if we are here in the house with them alot. But if I can only pick one, I'm choosing a me-day. Odds are more favorable that I'll do something with the kids waaaayy before I get another me-day-without-guilt!

Two Hands and a Roadmap said...

Oh no! Just for the weekend. Sorry for any confusion. I think a week might just be too long for me yet.

Jennifer Fink said...

Your poll is a great idea! I've always fallen somewhere in the middle, and secretly felt like a bad mom for wanting some time away from my kids on Mother's Day. Good to know I'm not the only one. :)


Two Hands and a Roadmap said...

Wouldn't you know, I ended up spending most of the day away from my boys after all. Change my vote!